Posts In: the teacher within

by Monique Minahan

About a year ago two of my longtime yoga teachers moved away within months of each other. I felt suddenly cut adrift and spent time looking for a replacement teacher to whom I could anchor my practice. I started to practice at home more. I tried a variety of yoga studios and classes. I took a yoga teacher training (at Yoga One!)

After awhile, I realized that instead of finding a new teacher, I had found myself. Being “on my own” forced me to trust myself more. There was no one leading the way, so I had to find my own way. I had to learn to be my own cheerleader, my own coach, and my own compass.

Practicing on my own allowed me to spread my wings and listen more deeply to my own body. This is challenging because sometimes I go to yoga to get out of my body or to get out of my mind. At times my goal is to get out of my current state of discomfort, disease, or distress, and into an easeful, blissful, serene body and mind.

While these are often wonderful side-effects of yoga, they’re not always present. In the words of Richard Freeman:

“Yoga is almost a way of looking for trouble. You may be feeling pretty good, but then you start doing postures and all of a sudden you discover there is a holding pattern that goes way deeper into your very being. You have to breathe into it and observe it as it is. The postures and the breathing, or pranayama, are like a fine-tooth comb that take out all the buried stuff you don’t need anymore.”

Not long into my practice of yoga I saw this happening. There were poses I liked and poses I didn’t like. In general, I liked the ones I was good at and disliked the ones that made me feel uncomfortable, trapped, or physically inadequate.

I sometimes choose faster classes because I get into a rhythm with my breath and my body and it just feels so good. I feel really accomplished afterwards because I release tension in my body, increase my strength, and feel balanced energetically.

In contrast, when I do a deep hip-opening practice at home, holding pigeon for three or four minutes with the intention to observe and release deep-seated tension or judgement, the experience is very different. I notice the effect of my practice less in a yoga “high” and more in the way I relate to myself and the people in my life.

One of my teachers would often say, “You know your practice is working when your relationships improve.” This was a philosophical stretch for me early in my practice because I couldn’t grasp how an hour of yoga a few times a week could transform my life.

Thankfully, I just kept practicing. And it did transform my life. Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, the founder of Ashtanga yoga, said “do your practice and all is coming.” I find this reminder especially relevant when I don’t feel like practicing.

Like any transformation or growth process, sometimes it’s beautiful and spacious and sometimes it’s uncomfortable and hard-going.

This is the deeper potential of yoga that all of us experience at some point in our practice.

Whether your yoga is clearing up your life or clearing out your life, trust your practice and trust your process. Trust that, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

Don’t be surprised if that teacher turns out to be you. At times our teachers are our injuries or some other limitation. Perhaps your teacher shows up on your doorstep instead of your yoga mat, in the form of a life experience instead of as a yoga teacher.

I like to think of my yoga practice as a path with detours, alleys, and bridges. Sometimes I follow a certain teacher down one path until we reach a fork in the road. When the detour takes me to what seems to be a dead end, I realize it’s not a dead end at all.

It’s time to build a bridge or learn to spread my wings and fly.

May we all travel our unique yogic paths that lead us home to ourselves, connected in our common journey from who we think we are to who we really are.

 

Mo is a writer and yoga teacher who believes in peace over happiness and love over fear. She likes to set her sights high and then take small steps to get there. You’ll find her walking the dirt path behind her house with her little fluffy dog, practicing walking her talk by keeping her head high and her heart open. 

Read more from Monique on her blog, mindfulmo.com

Whenever I walk into REI I’m simultaneously excited about all the wonderful outdoors-y things that people do, things that I could be doing if I only had the right gear, and amazed that there’s an industry dedicated to taking something as simple as say, hiking, and making it complex by selling things to enhance the experience. Granted, there are many activities that simply wouldn’t be possible without the right gear – whoever heard of canoeing without a canoe, or skiing without skis? But there are other activities like hiking, running or (dare I say it?) yoga that require next to nothing when you really get down to basics.

What do you really need in order to practice yoga? I found this thought running through my head while I was out of town on vacation for two weeks. I had dutifully packed my suitcase with my ipod, yoga pants, a few sports bras, travel mat and even some essential oils to take with me, fully intending to keep up my regular practice even while bombarded by family and friends and baked goods. But when I sat down in the living room before everyone else was awake and thought about it, yoga doesn’t need those things. As long as you have comfortable clothes that move with your body, you’ll be able to do the poses you usually do. And sure, having a mat is nice, especially when your hands start to slip on the carpet in downward facing dog – but is even that necessary?

As I moved through a sun salutation in silence, I realized how stiff my joints felt and how my muscles didn’t bend the way they usually did. Listening only to my body, without the voice of a teacher nearby, I decided to do another sun salutation, then another and another until I felt limber enough to try something else. By the time I finished my practice, I realized I’d done much less than I usually would have done in a class. It wasn’t a full hour of practice and I’d only opted to do five or six standing poses and double the number of lying down poses as usual. Maybe it wasn’t the best practice ever and I know myself well enough to know I do not prosper without the regular guidance of teachers and established class times at the studio – but it was yoga on my terms, the kind of yoga my body told me to do – which is yoga in its most basic form.

There are many things in life that would be nice to have. I find myself thinking all the time about how a particular new mat would be better than the one I have, how my workout clothes are wearing out and I should probably buy some new ones, and that maybe I would be better about practicing at home if only I had a block, strap and woven blanket like at the studio. It’s nice to take a step back and think about the things that are really necessary for yoga practice: a quiet space, comfortable clothes, a heart willing to listen to the teacher within.

namaste,
Laura