Posts In: self-love

guest post by Irene Jones

How does your meditation practice look and feel? We’re highlighting stories of meditation in everyday life to help de-mystify this life-changing practice and share simple meditation techniques with those just getting started. Share your experience in the comments or by email, info@yogaonesandiego.com

These days, my meditation practice is me waking, taking my time, checking in with my emotions, my physical self, and my breath (when I remember, because there is a tendency for the cogs in my brain to start gaining momentum pretty quickly.) I do a little yoga in bed. Nothing strenuous, a few yummy stretches, cat cows and twists and neck attendance to loosen up any stiffness.

I brush my teeth, drink some water, and soon enough I sit comfortably on a cushion facing my window that opens out towards spaciousness and the natural elements. Just before this, I light some incense. I sit nice and tall, roll my shoulders back and lift my heart, starting with a good posture. Of course, it relaxes as I meditate and from time to time, I gently reset the weight in my sitting bones and lift the crown of my head.

Grounding first, I encourage my lower body to be heavy and my pelvic floor to relax. I check in with the Manomaya Kosha, the mind sheath, or how we process our thoughts and emotions. I rest here for a while scanning my entire body head to toe.

I check in with my breath and follow it with my awareness until I get distracted and then I gently bring my awareness back to my breath again.

Most importantly, for me these days, in my meditation practice is opening to my emotional self, so I feel-in. I ask myself, “How am I feeling?” “How am I?” and I patiently wait and open to my experience as it unfolds. I meet myself with kindness and permission for whatever is there and for whatever wants to come to my attention. I hold the sensations of my inner experience in a very sacred and tender embrace. This is my practice.

I rest here for as long as I like. I can then move on to my mental space, check in, honor my mind and all that it does for me and for all its potential. I ask myself, “What would peace feel like in this moment?” I rest in patience for a sense, if it comes to me; if I can cultivate it this morning, if not, no judgement. I rest in the light of my own awareness. Every day is different. 

I especially love when I can get outside early in the morning, when it’s quiet so I can meditate in nature; I’m not sure if there is anything more lovely. Maybe I’ll do some yoga or qigong too. I am blessed to have gained these skills over the years, practicing on and off, making a gradual home for my expanding awareness and my inner peace.

Meditation in itself is not a difficult thing to do – however, to commit to a daily practice, even if just for a few weeks or months can be challenging. Though the rewards are worth it. Meditation can make a huge difference to how we approach ourselves and others; gifting us with opportunities to experience space and patience and self-acceptance while in relationship, it is a fantastic teacher.

Ultimately, we are listening to our own inner teachings and wisdom. I recently heard, that if we can think of it like brushing our teeth, then it will be an easy habit to begin. Five minutes every day is all you need. For me, it depends on how I feel, 20 minutes, sometimes longer, sometimes less, and sometimes I incorporate meditation into my daily activities themselves. Just being present and mindful in each moment is a practice in itself.

AMNESIA

Once again
I’ve confused rigidity for strength,
domination for embodiment.

I’ve missed opportunities for appreciation
for acceptance
for love.

We know in our minds.
We feel in our hearts.

And yet we forget.
We get lost,
confused.
Amnesia of the spirit.

What if the only purpose of life
is to communicate love?
Through our breath
Through our body
Through our thoughts
Through our words
Through our actions
Through our relationships
Through our life
Through our being

Begin again.
Every day.
Every moment.
Every breath.
A chance to wake up.

*****

BELIEFS

How do they form?
How do they shape and filter
the way we view ourselves,
each other, the world?

We look to some beliefs
to help guide positive thought and action,
such as Ahimsa (non-violence),
or a vision of sameness,
to see ourselves in others,
or to (radically) love ourselves…

But perhaps any belief
comes with a small weight,
what we should be or do.

Maybe the next step
is to let go of the belief.

To realize that we already are the same.
We already are love.
We always have been.
We don’t have to think it,
or believe it,
we can just be it.
We
Are
It.

by Laura McCorry

Do you ever sit in front of a computer and type? Hold your phone with your ear and shoulder? Wrangle a small, squirming child?

So many daily activities cause tension and tightness in the neck and shoulders. Try this super short sequence to find relief at home and when you can, join us for Restorative Yoga with Missy, Fridays at 4:30pm.

• Gentle Head Rolling. Take a comfortable seat, ensuring your feet are hip distance and parallel, and sit tall, gently drawing the shoulder blades onto your back. Allow your head to bow forward towards your chest. After a few breaths, slowly roll your head towards one shoulder, then again towards the chest. Repeat a few times moving mindfully from side to side.
• Backbend with Cactus Arms. Inhale and extend your arms straight up towards the ceiling with the palms facing one another. (Yelling, “Touch down!” is optional). On your exhale, bend your elbows to ninety degrees (cactus arms). Powerfully lift your chest, allowing your gaze to lift as well but keeping the back of your neck long. Alternate straightening and bending the elbows, moving between these two poses as you breath in and out, or hold each one static for 5-8 breaths.
  
• Cat and Cow Poses. Come to the ground in table top with your hands under your shoulders and your knees under your hips. Inhale and arch your back, drawing the shoulder blades together, gaze gently up (cow pose). Then exhale and round your back towards the sky, pressing the floor away and looking between your hands (cat pose). Stay connected to your breath while you flow between these two poses.
• Restorative Fish Pose. If you have yoga blocks, place one block horizontal (medium height) just below the shoulder blades on your back and a second block (tall height) underneath your head. Alternatively, you can use a rolled up blanket beneath your shoulder blades and a pillow under your head. Stretch your legs out long or place a rolled blanket underneath your knees to alleviate tightness in your lower back. Stay here and breathe for up to five minutes.

Now take a moment to acknowledge the difference in your body, mind, and spirit. Thank yourself for making this time to offer yourself gratitude and loving-kindness.

Laura McCorry
Contributing Writer

Yoga and Laura had an on-again-off-again relationship from 2004 until 2009 when they decided to move in together and there’s been no looking back since. Passionate about both yoga and writing, Laura loves to introduce others to the joys and benefits of yoga and healthy living.

Contact: laura(AT)yogaonesandiego(DOT)com

by Laura McCorry

When my military husband was deployed, I kept a list on a whiteboard of things I could do to boost my spirits when I was feeling down and lonely. Some were aimed at fostering good mental health, like connecting with other people, while some were simply indulgent treats I was giving myself pre-permission to have and enjoy.

I highly encourage everyone to make your own list and keep it handy! It doesn’t matter if you’re going through the toughest season of your life or if you feel on top of the world –

No matter who you are, no matter what’s going on, you are here and you are deserving of love, especially from yourself!

Here are some suggestions if I had to re-write the list today:

1. Call a friend
2. Buy a treat at a bakery
3. Go for a walk
4. Get a massage
5. Take a yoga class
6. Make a coffee date
7. Make a wine date
8. Write a letter
9. Make a pot of tea
10. Be a tourist in your own town
11. Go outside
12. Visit a state park
13. Video chat with family
14. Make art
15. Read a book
16. Go to a museum
17. Listen to music
18. Meditate
19. Start a gratitude journal

Laura McCorry
Contributing Writer

Yoga and Laura had an on-again-off-again relationship from 2004 until 2009 when they decided to move in together and there’s been no looking back since. Passionate about both yoga and writing, Laura loves to introduce others to the joys and benefits of yoga and healthy living.

Contact: laura(AT)yogaonesandiego(DOT)com

by Monique Minahan

I place my left hand on my heart and on top of that layer my right.

I don’t move until I feel that familiar thump-thump beating under my hands, as subtle or as strong as it may be. I don’t move until I connect with the aliveness within me.

Anahata, the heart chakra, reminds me of my need for love and my true capacity to love. It asks me to stretch my heart open not just for my friends or family but for every human being on this planet – a major paradigm shift from the more prominent fear-thy-neighbor mentality that threatens to tear our world apart.

This is why I must connect with myself first. I cannot find compassion for anyone else until I find compassion for myself. I cannot welcome another’s pain until I have welcomed my own.

Onto the physical connection of hands to heart, I layer sound. A soft reverberation of anahata’s seed sound yam starts at the middle point of my sternum, this chakra’s kshetram, or front-body location. It travels through my body, piercing the spine, emerging on my back at the actual chakra point, a deep blue flowering like a tattoo over my upper back.

I repeat that cycle until it feels complete, letting the sound shape-shift, becoming a groan or a song or a wail until it naturally tapers into the quietest, softest syllable, matching the beat of my heart.

Alone with my heart I ask her what she has to say. Then I step back to allow her to answer:

Love bigger, she says. You know you can.

She is right but I stay silent. I listen as she questions why I don’t. I give her all my reasons and tell her that the world makes it hard to love sometimes. She reminds me that when I block love from exiting, I also block love from entering. Like breathing out and breathing in.

I begin bhramari pranayama, the humming bee breath. The gentle buzzing sound allows me to listen to my heart without my head thinking of a reply, a response, a defense.

This practice draws me out into the deep waters of vulnerability, the only state of being where I can receive and offer love fully.

As my humming drifts into silence I become aware of akasha, the heart space, and how it shrinks and expands proportionate to my level of fear or love.

I choose love. Not the small love I only offer to those who love me back. The Big Love that does not require reciprocity. The love that is enlarged by our differences instead of threatened by them. The love which the world needs so desperately.

Part 5 of a 7 part series. You can find part 4 here: Manipura, The Navel.

Monique Minahan
Contributing Writer

Mo is a writer and yoga teacher who believes in peace over happiness and love over fear. She likes to set her sights high and then take small steps to get there. You’ll find her walking the dirt path behind her house with her little fluffy dog, practicing walking her talk by keeping her head high and her heart open. Contact: moniqueminahan.com

by Laura McCorry

Anti-resolutions for the modern yogi

It’s good to reflect on where you’ve been and where you’d like to go – to identify the areas of your life where you’d like to see change. But too strong a focus on these things draws us into regret/shame about the past or anxiety/pressure about the future. 

Here are five things I don’t want to do in the coming year. The only way I can avoid them is by not doing them this very moment. There is only here. There is only now. The stroke of midnight will come and go, but the present moment is always with us and always extends the promise of change and of living life more abundantly. 

May you find balance and harmony, right where you are, right now.

1. Dream about things I want instead of doing them.

If you never take the risk, you can never be disappointed. It’s easy to talk or think about the big, incredible things you want to do or experience in life but not take steps towards accomplishing them. Almost any goal can be broken down into concrete small steps that will set you on the course to accomplishing it. Even if your goal is an experience like traveling, you can consciously save a little bit of money each week to work towards this goal.

2. Put off until tomorrow something that can be accomplished today.

On a related note – there’s almost no task more onerous than the repeated experience of thinking about and dreading it. The more you practice embracing the present moment for action, you practice cutting off anxiety at its source. Do your chores. Have the hard conversation. Make an appointment with the dentist. There’s no time like the present moment – in fact, yogis know that’s all there is.

3. Blame someone else for not doing the thing I expect or would like them to do. 

This one sounds ridiculous when you put it in words but it’s very common. Your partner didn’t do something the way you would have done it. Your friend hasn’t called to check on you and you’re feeling lonely. The weight of all these hidden disappointments is too much to carry around embittering your own heart. In the now-immortal words of Elsa, Let it go, let it goooo…

4. Try to adhere to a strict new schedule of eating/exercising/meditation/reading/etc. 

There’s a reason most people fail to keep up with their New Years resolutions by February – it’s because habits are so very strong. Do I want to eat healthy, delicious food, do more yoga and make a bigger dent in my reading list? Hell yeah! But trying to use January to force myself into compliance just isn’t going to work. There are other ways to bring about positive change in your life and all of them require attention throughout the year and not just on January 1st. Marianne Williamson captured the yogic philosophy by stating, “You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.”

5. Continue to think and operate on the scarcity mindset. 

All too often, we confuse abundance with scarcity. For example, scarcity thinks: I won’t invite my friend over because my house is messy. But focusing on abundance thinks: I have friends, a house, and everything I need and want for daily living. Each day you’re presented with the opportunity to view your life as a scarce commodity or an abundant one. You can guard, protect, and parcel out the best moments or you can celebrate, share, and be fully present for them. I know which one I need more of in this new year.

Laura McCorry
Contributing Writer

Yoga and Laura had an on-again-off-again relationship from 2004 until 2009 when they decided to move in together and there’s been no looking back since. Passionate about both yoga and writing, Laura loves to introduce others to the joys and benefits of yoga and healthy living.

Contact: laura@yogaonesandiego.com

by Olivia Cecchettini

“Yoga & Ayurveda: Self-Healing and Self-Realization” 

by David Frawley

Summary: Yoga & Ayurveda is an excellent primer for those new to either topic. Known as the “sister sciences,” Yoga and Ayurveda have been practiced together for centuries to bring the whole person into a state of health and wellbeing. This book summarizes the most important tenets of each practice and gives intelligent ways to implement its teachings into your everyday life. It also contains enough pictures of yoga poses to support a beginning home practice.

Why I Love It: With the rising popularity of Yoga in the western world, I believe it’s important to show how Ayurveda is a necessary and hugely beneficial complementary practice. From the seasoned practitioner to the brand new beginner, both disciplines are relevant to contemporary spiritual practice and healthy living.

I especially enjoyed the chapter on chanting – finding my voice as a teacher has been a journey of constantly going deeper and accessing that true connection within. Using the techniques from Yoga & Ayurveda, I’ve learned so much more about my unique constitution and how I can best support this body from my diet to my skin care routine.

As they say, knowledge is power. Empower yourself to heal yourself.

Recommended For: Anyone wanting to know more about the harmonious interplay between Yoga and Ayurveda and their healing magic for the human body and experience. Even though the two practices are different and unique, it is their combination that will catapult growth and change into your life.

These practices may come and go or may become part of your routine – either way, this book is a good reminder to keep coming back to self-love and self-care. This “coming home” into our own hearts ripples out through our environment and the practice of healing oneself becomes the practice of healing the world. 

 

Olivia Cecchettini
Contributing Writer

Olivia’s yoga journey began in 2003. She is certified in Vinyasa, Hatha, and Aerial Yoga and holds a Masters degree in Spiritual Psychology. She believes the mind, body, soul connection is sacred and encourages her students explore and expand within their own bodies and consciousnesses.

by Olivia Cecchettini

“Yoga Girl”

by Rachel Brathen

Summary: Rachel Brathen, also know as Yoga Girl, is spreading love across the globe one hug at a time. If you’re not already following her on social media, you most likely will be soon, as her US book tour, also know as, The Happiness Tour, is going on at this very moment. Rachel is a woman who loves yoga, her man, her dogs, and practicing handstands on the beach but there is more to her than meets the eye. This book introduces the reader to Rachel’s childhood in Sweden and how she has worked to transform her life into the life of her dreams.

Yoga Girl is light-hearted, fun and beautiful, but it also connects on a deeper level to the heartache and joy of Rachel’s real personal life. Weaving through each of the seven chapters are easy to do yoga sequences as well as recipes to inspire a nutritious, plant-based diet. The entire book is sprinkled with beautiful photos that will make you want to venture to the nearest beach, get upside down and enjoy life to the fullest.

Why I Love It: I love how Yoga Girl focuses on the positive and recognizes that this is a choice. Everything can be taken away from you, absolutely everything – except your attitude. Rachel Brathen has experienced firsthand how yoga heals and transforms lives and reading her story is a breath of fresh air.

This book reminds me to choose happiness and to acknowledge when I’m hurting. I was reminded of my own grief over losing my grandmother and how yoga helped me breathe and eventually heal. Rachel’s heartfelt reflections made me feel that life is truly a process of remembering what our hearts and souls already know.

Recommended For: Anyone new to yoga will find a great introduction to yoga and its philosophy in Yoga Girl. The more experienced yogi will enjoy the depth and wisdom in Rachel’s personal testimony.

This book invites readers to go past the surface and love others, but more importantly, to love themselves. Yes, there are a lot of bikini pictures which may spark insecurities, but I encourage you to receive it’s overarching message: that you are a true co-creator of your life. If that includes bikinis, great! If not, great!

This month I invite you to slow down and check in with yourself. Are you living in a way that is in alignment with who you are and with your dreams? Let go of people pleasing. Let go of control. Pick up this book or recapture anything that inspires you to move forward with your authentic life.

Ciao, Olivia

“For me, the book was like a perfect yoga class—it left me inspired, relaxed and at the same time gave me tons of ideas.” – Katarina Tav?ar, Elephant Journal

Olivia Cecchettini
Contributing Writer

Olivia’s yoga journey began in 2003. She is certified in Vinyasa, Hatha, and Aerial Yoga and holds a Masters degree in Spiritual Psychology. She believes the mind, body, soul connection is sacred and encourages her students explore and expand within their own bodies and consciousnesses.

by Laura McCorry

It’s easy to get caught up in living a moment to moment existence (which is not the same as existence in the present moment). You do the things that must be done to move from one day into the next – putting off until tomorrow everything but the essential. Until there is only enough space in the crowded shuffle of your brain to process the next step.

This is when life is hard. When a deep feeling of unease settles around your heart. If you could step back, you might see the problem, but you feel stuck. The body will tell you something is wrong and its strongest language is pain. 

Yoga helps. Get on your mat and start to move with your body. Listen. Find your alignment by what feels good and not how it looks. A hot cup of tea can do wonders. So can a phone call to a friend. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Do whatever it is you need to do to let the light back in. 

Open your hands and release everything you’ve been grasping and clenching tight. Turn your face to the sun, which can be the actual sun or your closed eyes summoning up all the loves in your life –

Your romantic partner. Your mother. Your dog. Anyone who has ever shown you kindness.

Think of them and feel the corners of your eyes crinkle. Let the light shine deep and illuminate the furthest reaches of your heart.

Laura McCorry
Contributing Writer

Yoga and Laura had an on-again-off-again relationship from 2004 until 2009 when they decided to move in together and there’s been no looking back since. Passionate about both yoga and writing, Laura loves to introduce others to the joys and benefits of yoga and healthy living.

Contact: laura@yogaonesandiego.com

by Laura McCorry

You are not fixed. 

Sometimes change is so slow as to be imperceptible. Your cells are always dying and new ones are born to take their place. Every day your hair grows a bit longer. Every day some small new part is incorporated into the whole of you.

All it takes to change your direction in life is one new thought. One different action. One word of love. All that came before brought you to this moment, right now. But the past shouldn’t be given a seat at the table of today.

Have the small acts and thoughts of this hour brought you into alignment with what you know to be true about yourself? If you have strayed from your path, this is when you need to have the most compassion for yourself and the most courage to forget what came before and begin again.

Never be afraid to speak your truth. People will try to hold onto the old idea of you because it is familiar. Don’t be tempted to go along with them.

Listen to the voice inside that speaks your dreams. Give yourself permission to shout who you are to the world. Consistent acts in the same direction add up over time. Small steps matter. You are not fixed – you are free.

Laura McCorry
Contributing Writer

Yoga and Laura had an on-again-off-again relationship from 2004 until 2009 when they decided to move in together and there’s been no looking back since. Passionate about both yoga and writing, Laura loves to introduce others to the joys and benefits of yoga and healthy living.

Contact: laura@yogaonesandiego.com

by Olivia Cecchettini

 “Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living”

by Pema Chodron

Summary: Start Where You Are is a handbook for awakening a compassionate heart and choosing love over fear. Beginning the healing process from the inside out, Pema Chodron offers an easily accessible shift in perspective. By starting where we are right now, we can begin accepting rather than denying the painful aspects of our lives. Chodron frames her teachings with traditional Buddhist slogans, such as: “always meditate on whatever provokes resentment,” and “always apply only a joyful state of mind.” Using these slogans as mental mantras, combined with meditation, we can all develop the courage to sit and work with our inner pain and discover the joy and confidence that already lies within.

Why I love It: I love this book because the teachings are simple and Chodron’s writing reflects her light-hearted and humorous approach to life. As I read, I became more aware of my mental patterns, and within that awareness healing began to occur as I shifted from negative self talk to kind and supportive ways of thinking. I found a new way of being within myself and in the world. I love this book because its practices brought more joy, fearlessness, and self love into my life and that’s what inspired me to share it with you!

Recommended For: Everyone – I believe we can ALL use more compassion in our lives. Whether things are great at the moment or you’re going through something that feels too big to handle, compassion helps us find ease within ourselves and as we move through the world. It begins within. Start where you are. Choose love over fear. Simple. Wise. True. This book is all of these things and more. I invite you to explore its teachings and see how they resonate with you. Begin with an open heart and see where it takes you. Enjoy!

“Start Where You Are is a short book, but one worth taking your time with and chewing on. It’s also worth re-reading. It’s a great introduction to traditional Buddhist slogans or lojong, yet accessible and relevant whatever your other beliefs may be.”

– Elephant Journal

Olivia Cecchettini
Contributing Writer

Olivia is a yoga teacher based out of San Diego. With a love for people, life, spirituality, reading, and, of course, yoga she spends her days connecting with students and nature. Getting outside whenever she can to enjoy all the beauty this life has to offer.

by Olivia Cecchettini

Meditations from the Mat: Daily Reflections on the Path of Yoga

by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison

Summary: The 365 meditations in this book integrate the mindfulness that yoga teaches into our everyday lives. Each day the meditation begins with a quote from a wide range of beautiful souls that will touch your heart followed by more wise words from the authors to inspire self inquiry, self love, and service. Read it daily or a few entries at a time, whatever feels right in the moment, but take time to digest and let the words settle in deep.

Why I love it: I love this book for many reasons. First, I love quotes! The meaning of profound words changes daily based on my perspective, how I’m feeling and what I relate to in that moment. I love this because you can re-read the same quote everyday for a week and it will continuously have many layers to uncover and take in. Secondly, having something tangible like a book to connect me to body, mind and soul while I meditate is a powerful tool that keeps me feeling balanced and happy.

Recommended for: Anyone who wants to bring more meditation into their lives. Whether it is two deep breaths with your eyes closed or 20 minutes in a seated position, you have to start where you are without judgment. Meditation is a place to stop, breathe and reconnect inward. As we begin to live our lives from the inside out, we create space for peace and healing to come forward creating more compassion and joy within.

I had this book for three years before I finished reading it all the way through, so take your time! Meditations From the Mat can be a great addition to your everyday ritual but it’s okay if that doesn’t happen. The book will always be waiting for you whenever you’re ready, and so will your cushion. Practice and all is coming. Light and love.

“In this free-spirited journey to the heart of yoga, Rolf guides us, through daily meditations,to finding the appropriate balance between standing firm and surrendering to flow—the key to peace of mind.”

– Beryl Bender Birch

Olivia Cecchettini
Contributing Writer

Olivia is a yoga teacher based out of San Diego. With a love for people, life, spirituality, reading, and, of course, yoga she spends her days connecting with students and nature. Getting outside whenever she can to enjoy all the beauty this life has to offer.

Those of you who practice yoga regularly can probably think of 50+ reasons why you go to class but it never hurts to have some extra motivation handy. What would you add to this list?

10. You just can’t answer that email from your boss right now. You just can’t. 

9. You get to cross something off your to-do list that makes the rest of your list feel more manageable.

8. You secretly worry what your mat would say about you if it could talk. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhVSCkxhVWI

7. You’ll leave the house and see other adult humans. They might even hug you.

6. The yoga DVD you bought is currently serving as a coaster on your coffee table.

5. You had a terrible day and yoga is the light at the end of the tunnel making you feel like it’s all going to be ok.

4. You had an amazing day and you know that post-class bliss will put you over the top in the best way imaginable.

3. Because you promised yourself and those are the most important promises to keep.

2. You believe yoga pants should be worn to yoga class more often than lounging on your couch.

1. Because yoga brings out the more loving and understanding superhero version of you!

guest post by Christina Bird Ward

Like too many women, I’ve spent a large part of my life struggling with body image issues. It took me a long time to learn how to like (much less love) what I saw in the mirror. The good news is that loving yourself is a skill you can practice and learn over time. 

Here are a few things I do to feel amazing in my own skin, which is pretty much the definition of sexy:

1. Smile at yourself in the mirror before leaving the house in the morning. I felt ridiculous when I first started doing it, but eventually, I began to feel like I was smiling at a friend and that she was smiling back. Now, I never leave the house without sharing that smile.

2. Find something you like about your body every day. It took me months before I could find one thing that I liked: my nose. My nose was the first thing that I could look at and think, “Yeah, I like the way that looks. I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” As time passed, the list of things I found tolerable about my body grew, then the things that I liked, then the things that I loved.

3. Recite mantras or affirmations to your reflection. Here are a few of my favorites:

“I love what I see in my reflection.”

“I am beautiful.”

“I am powerful.”

“I am love/loving/lovable/loved.”

“Because I accept and love myself, others will accept and love me.”

“Smile as a cause, not as an effect.”

4. Choose what you eat wisely. This doesn’t mean I don’t splurge. Don’t get me wrong, I love pizza… and Nutella… and all sorts of other junk foods. But I try to be intentional with what and how I eat. I know that when I eat better, I feel better. And when I feel better, I look better, which makes me feel better, and so goes the cycle.

5. Wear sexy, flattering panties. Always. Got that? Always. Now this doesn’t mean that you have to wear some uncomfortable black lacy thing. Some of my most comfortable underoos are also my sexiest little numbers. Underwear is the first thing you put on. Let the first thought you have about your body be “I look damn sexy” and see how your day week life changes.

6. Exercise because it feels good. If your body isn’t healthy, it doesn’t matter what size your pants are, you won’t feel your best. Stop exercising because you want to look good (although, that is an unavoidable side effect) and start working out because you want to take care of your beautiful, imperfect body.

7. Get rid of “fat/skinny pants.” They only remind you of how you used to be compared to now. The hardest struggle is learning to love your body right now. Throw out anything that you don’t feel good wearing.

8. Learn how to walk in heels and own at least one pair. I’m a heels girl, I can’t lie. There is a feeling I get when I’m confidently strutting in my sleek, black stiletto boots that just can’t compare with any other footwear. Your heels might be a little black dress or sea kayaking or ordering whiskey at a bar. The point is to do or wear something that makes you feel confident and daring.

9. Choose a partner who says nice things about you. I’ve been in a relationship with someone who criticized my body and pointed out my “flaws,” which only reinforced the negative messages I gave myself. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Be with someone who loves you exactly the way you are but who will challenge you to grow and work towards a healthy life together.

10. Say only positive things about your body, even when joking. In fifth grade, a girl in my class made fun of my “big butt.” She wasn’t far off, I was a skinny ten-year-old with a booty that was well before my time – but I held onto that statement for years. That was the moment I started worrying about my body and began to have an altered and inaccurate view of how I looked. Discard words that bring up negative emotions like “big” and “fat” and replace them with positive words like “voluptuous” and “full.”

Remember that loving others sometimes sneaks up on you and surprises you. Loving yourself is more deliberate. Take the first step: embrace yourself. You’re worth the love you have to give.

Christina Bird Ward
Guest Writer

Christina Bird Ward is an Acupuncturist in San Diego, CA. She believes that a healthful life begins with loving yourself completely, mind and body.