Posts In: pregnancy

by Monique Minahan

The womb. Love is made here. Life is made here.

Swadhisthana is the seat of our right to feel and represents the duality (and sometimes dueling nature) of separation versus attachment, two concepts I became intimately familiar with while carrying and birthing my son.

A chakra often characterized for its sexuality, I find its watery dimensions to be layered with both humanity and divinity. Growing up in a society that exploits sex and a religion that denied it, I observed it too often reduced to one or the other. The sexual energy this chakra represents spans desire, sensation, pleasure, need and emotion. Much like water changes form to become ice or snow, this chakra’s energy can shrink or expand commensurate to our awareness of it.

As the life inside me grew from hiranyagarbha, the universal womb where all is in its potential state, into my baby, I began to tune in to this chakra on a physical level like never before. The process of creating and carrying life plunged me down into my fears, opened up new depths of emotion, and baptized me more fully into my humanity. It didn’t wash away the ugly or the shameful or the unacceptable – but they were revealed to me without the lens of judgement. I could feel it all, be it all, allow it all.

The space of the womb expands greatly in weight and size during pregnancy. Once baby is born the energetic space is still expansive, but the weight is gone. For weeks I stacked heavy blankets on top of my pelvis to physically weight down swadisthana chakra. The sudden weightlessness felt ungrounding to me, as if the watery energy was struggling to find its boundaries after the enormous experience of childbirth.

I choose a simple mantra for my practice today, the beeja mantra vam.

Pressing on the chakra’s front-body location with one finger, the pubic symphysis, and with another on its back-body mirror image, at the level of the sacrum, I recall that during labor the downward pressure in this space was enormous, an oceanic surge of power I didn’t know I possessed. I release the memory but keep the feeling of intensity in my body as I repeat the mantra.

I free my hands but not my attention. Emotions, memories and judgments surface and I practice allowing them instead of trying to repress them. Some days my mind is as wild as the ocean and all I can do is cling to the anchor of the breath while it swirls me around and around. Today my thoughts feel peacefully contained, like a river flowing downstream content within its banks.

As I end my meditation I return to hiranyagarbha. Some call it god, others universal consciousness. While I cannot grasp its mystery, I can understand it on a level that does not require words. Just presence.

Part 3 of a 7 part series. You can find part 2 here: Mooladhara, The Root.

Monique Minahan
Contributing Writer

Mo is a writer and yoga teacher who believes in peace over happiness and love over fear. She likes to set her sights high and then take small steps to get there. You’ll find her walking the dirt path behind her house with her little fluffy dog, practicing walking her talk by keeping her head high and her heart open. Contact: moniqueminahan.com

There are so many messages that our society sends women about their bodies and how they should look and perhaps one of the most vulnerable times to hear these messages is when you’ve just had a baby. Case in point, just recently a reviewer on Yoga One’s yelp page wrote about leaving class because the teacher was out of shape and therefore couldn’t be an experienced teacher. The reviewer had never been to the studio before. That teacher happens to have over a decade of experience and a beautiful six month old.

Help us share real stories like this one and support all individuals in their journey to lead happier and healthier lives. We want to hear your experiences with body image and/or postpartum recovery in the comments or by email (info@yogaonesandiego.com). If you’ve taken class at Yoga One, please consider posting your feedback online, Facebook, Yelp, Google, etc., we’d love to hear your thoughts! 

Part three in a series of reflections on pregnancy, childbirth and yoga from Missy DiDonato. Be sure to read her prenatal article and a just-after postpartum article.

guest post by Missy DiDonato

One year later (damn, already?!) I can say this about postpartum recovery and overall wellness – it’s not for sissies! 

Before giving birth, I had expected that my body would go back to what I still considered “normal.” I wouldn’t have the aches and pains I’d experienced during pregnancy and I assumed that with some time and effort, I would eventually be the same size and weight as before. But I was naïve to how long it would actually take and I had to adjust my expectations.

I had a cesarean and they cut my stomach muscles to deliver my baby. Abrupt, I know, but I needed to say those words to myself in order to process the experience. The initial weeks of recovery and healing from the c-section were easier than I anticipated and I was able to get back on my mat practicing yoga after just six weeks. I took it slow and thought that by allowing myself enough time to heal, my body would go back to the way it was pre-baby. But a year later, I’m still struggling with both the expectation and physical experience of “getting my body back.”

My biggest setback physically is the ongoing work of mending and strengthening my abdominal muscles. Their lack of stability often causes acute low back pain. I’m constantly reminding myself to get up after sitting for too long (an epidemic really, among anyone who sits too long at their desk or in a car.) I’ve had a couple of debilitating moments where I had to seek medical treatment with acupuncture and massage. This, coupled with proper yoga asanas to strengthen my ab muscles and stretch my hips and hamstrings, has kept the pain at bay. But sometimes I feel as though this pain will be a consistent reminder of what my body miraculously performed.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel bad about my body. It’s given me a healthy baby girl and for that, I am forever grateful. I do get bummed when I realize my belly is no longer the adorable object of affection.

Just as my body had to make space for the experience of carrying a life, my postprtum body needed time to adjust to a new version of life with different activities, patterns and eating habits. It’s been a challenge to fit healthy eating into a much busier day to day life. Making time for workouts and time for me often falls by the wayside simply because I miss her. So we take more walks and do yoga in the park. 

My priority is Olive and I remind myself that I have to be physically and spiritually strong to care for her like she deserves. My physical appearance is no longer my top concern, but the health of my body matters.

If I could say one thing to new moms, it’s that adjusting to your new schedule will be difficult, but remember that you gave birth, and that’s not for sissies! You got this!

 

Missy DiDonato
Guest Writer

Missy began practicing yoga at home when she was fourteen, following along to a DVD in her living room. She has since completed two separate 200 hour Yoga Teacher Trainings with UCSD and Yoga One. Missy loves helping others find their own yogic path and students of all levels appreciate her warm and friendly teaching style.

guest post by Missy DiDonato

Yoga has always been a source of connection for me. I feel connected to the earth when I practice in nature. I am better connected to my family, friends and strangers through the shared experience of group asana. Most of all, yoga connects me to my body and this has been never been more true or important now that I’m pregnant.

Pregnancy has brought dramatic changes to my body in a relatively short period of time. During the first trimester (1-3 months), I barely practiced yoga. My body was working over-time to grow my baby and prepare for the rest of pregnancy and I was physically exhausted. I honored this natural process and kept my practice really mellow. Some days all I did was legs up the wall!

The second trimester (3-6 months) I was able to get back to my regular practice with modifications. I kept my feet hip-distance apart for better balance and to allow space for baby to grow. I omitted any deep twists and began to use blocks under my hands in uttanasana (forward fold.) I began to get light-headed more easily, so I rarely came into a full fold and often used a block underneath my forehead in down dog which eased the sensation of blood rushing to my head.

Now into my third trimester (6-9 months), I’m using these modifications along with lying on my left side for savasana. I never thought this would be as comfortable or relaxing as traditional savasana but IT IS! The most unexpected and wonderful part has been discovering how comfortable pregnancy modifications are simply because they were designed for my new body.

I’ve discovered how much I enjoy having my little buddy with me wherever I go. She hears my voice when I teach and is soothed by my yoga playlists. More importantly, she is encircled by the peace, calm and focus from the class as a whole. I feel great in my body, but it’s no longer mine completely. This is a wonderful part of being pregnant, but it’s also taken some adjustment.

Practicing yoga a few times a week has kept me in shape physically and eased the aches and pains of stretching ligaments and muscles – but it has also sealed the bond between us. I’m not only practicing for myself, I’m practicing for her. We are two bodies contained within my own and I try to tune in to how my position feels to her. I move through asanas to strengthen and restore my body, but also to create space for her to be comfortable and to grow.

* Please consult your doctor before beginning yoga or any other exercise program. If you are pregnant and new to yoga, we recommend you attend dedicated Prenatal Yoga classes.

Missy DiDonato
Guest Writer

Missy began practicing yoga at home when she was fourteen, following along to a DVD in her living room. She has since completed two separate 200 hour Yoga Teacher Trainings with UCSD and Yoga One. Missy loves helping others find their own yogic path and students of all levels appreciate her warm and friendly teaching style.