Posts In: love yourself

by Monique Minahan

I place my left hand on my heart and on top of that layer my right.

I don’t move until I feel that familiar thump-thump beating under my hands, as subtle or as strong as it may be. I don’t move until I connect with the aliveness within me.

Anahata, the heart chakra, reminds me of my need for love and my true capacity to love. It asks me to stretch my heart open not just for my friends or family but for every human being on this planet – a major paradigm shift from the more prominent fear-thy-neighbor mentality that threatens to tear our world apart.

This is why I must connect with myself first. I cannot find compassion for anyone else until I find compassion for myself. I cannot welcome another’s pain until I have welcomed my own.

Onto the physical connection of hands to heart, I layer sound. A soft reverberation of anahata’s seed sound yam starts at the middle point of my sternum, this chakra’s kshetram, or front-body location. It travels through my body, piercing the spine, emerging on my back at the actual chakra point, a deep blue flowering like a tattoo over my upper back.

I repeat that cycle until it feels complete, letting the sound shape-shift, becoming a groan or a song or a wail until it naturally tapers into the quietest, softest syllable, matching the beat of my heart.

Alone with my heart I ask her what she has to say. Then I step back to allow her to answer:

Love bigger, she says. You know you can.

She is right but I stay silent. I listen as she questions why I don’t. I give her all my reasons and tell her that the world makes it hard to love sometimes. She reminds me that when I block love from exiting, I also block love from entering. Like breathing out and breathing in.

I begin bhramari pranayama, the humming bee breath. The gentle buzzing sound allows me to listen to my heart without my head thinking of a reply, a response, a defense.

This practice draws me out into the deep waters of vulnerability, the only state of being where I can receive and offer love fully.

As my humming drifts into silence I become aware of akasha, the heart space, and how it shrinks and expands proportionate to my level of fear or love.

I choose love. Not the small love I only offer to those who love me back. The Big Love that does not require reciprocity. The love that is enlarged by our differences instead of threatened by them. The love which the world needs so desperately.

Part 5 of a 7 part series. You can find part 4 here: Manipura, The Navel.

Monique Minahan
Contributing Writer

Mo is a writer and yoga teacher who believes in peace over happiness and love over fear. She likes to set her sights high and then take small steps to get there. You’ll find her walking the dirt path behind her house with her little fluffy dog, practicing walking her talk by keeping her head high and her heart open. Contact: moniqueminahan.com

by Olivia Cecchettini

The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul

by: Danielle LaPorte

Summary: Part workbook, part engaging read, The Desire Map may change the way you think and feel about your goals – which in turn will change the way you pursue them. Danielle LaPorte challenges you to look within and to be honest with yourself about your desires. Consciously or unconsciously, many of us hide our true desires by trying to please others or detaching from our own truth. This book will help you identify your core desires and create not just a goal line, but a “soul line” of how you want to feel and be in the world. This is so powerful!

Why I love It: I always wanted the ability to manifest my desires but it never worked for me in the past. The Desire Map helped me identify my Core Desired Feelings (CDF, as LaPorte calls them) and this change in perspective allowed me to see incongruent intentions and actions that were holding me back. When my goals came into alignment with my higher self, I started to see those goals manifest in my life… very cool!

One of the best tools to clarify your intentions and goals is simply to put pen to paper. By writing them out, I began to see which goals and CDFs were the most important to me. Here are a few questions from LaPorte that I thought would be encouraging and fun to share along with my answers:

I crave…. new places, long conversations, sunsets, and sometimes sugar
Other than time or money, what I want more of is… experiences and memories
I need to give myself more permission to be… more reclusive
The colour of joy is… light, darkness, and blue
If I whisper the word bliss… I close my eyes and think of the longest sunset over the ocean
I feel vulnerable when… I share my deepest feelings
In crisis… I breathe, freak out, stay calm, or cry, depends on the day.
When feeling free and strong I tend to… practice a more challenging flow, my personal practice is very gentle at the moment, but every now and then I crave a very strong power class.
If delight were an animal, it would be… the cutest pug ever named Z
I am proud of… completing my Masters in Spiritual Psychology and paying for it as I went along by myself. No debt.

These are just a few of her excellent questions to help you dive deeper in knowing your inner self and your feelings.

Recommended For: Anyone feeling blocked or held back in life, whether it’s mental or physical or emotional. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world, so all change must start within! This book can help you take an emotional inventory, which will create more awareness of what you can let go and where you can make space for new ways of being and feeling. The Desire Map has been called a dream-fulfilling system that harnesses your soul’s deep desire to feel good – I hope it does just that for you.

Olivia Cecchettini
Contributing Writer

Olivia’s yoga journey began in 2003. She is certified in Vinyasa, Hatha, and Aerial Yoga and holds a Masters degree in Spiritual Psychology. She believes the mind, body, soul connection is sacred and encourages her students explore and expand within their own bodies and consciousnesses.

by Laura McCorry

What’s weighing you down? That idea pushed to the back of your mind that hasn’t left. Maybe it’s been days or months. Maybe you’ve been thinking about this thing you’d like to change for years.

Sometimes we let ourselves be defined by conditions and labels that have grown up over the years like weeds. They come from family, co-workers or friends – sometimes they have even been planted by our own hand in the night. The weeds grow up around the bloom of your true self and cut off the light.

You are the gardener of your soul. Approach your inner landscape fearlessly and take stock of everything growing there.

Keep the healthy growth: the relationships still in bloom that bring you joy, those habits and ideas that feed your passions with their abundant produce.

Prune back anything that doesn’t fit your true self, the person you’d like to be. Clear away doubt, anger, resentment and guilt. Let go of old sorrows that have ripened and fallen to the ground. Dig down into the earth of your being and rake away the last remnants of any bad seed.

These things weigh on your heart because they are not rightfully a part of you. A gardener’s work is never done. Each day you must go out and pull up small intrusions. Each day you must show up and begin again.

Laura McCorry
Contributing Writer

Yoga and Laura had an on-again-off-again relationship from 2004 until 2009 when they decided to move in together and there’s been no looking back since. Passionate about both yoga and writing, Laura loves to introduce others to the joys and benefits of yoga and healthy living.

Contact: laura@yogaonesandiego.com

by Olivia Cecchettini

“Yoga Girl”

by Rachel Brathen

Summary: Rachel Brathen, also know as Yoga Girl, is spreading love across the globe one hug at a time. If you’re not already following her on social media, you most likely will be soon, as her US book tour, also know as, The Happiness Tour, is going on at this very moment. Rachel is a woman who loves yoga, her man, her dogs, and practicing handstands on the beach but there is more to her than meets the eye. This book introduces the reader to Rachel’s childhood in Sweden and how she has worked to transform her life into the life of her dreams.

Yoga Girl is light-hearted, fun and beautiful, but it also connects on a deeper level to the heartache and joy of Rachel’s real personal life. Weaving through each of the seven chapters are easy to do yoga sequences as well as recipes to inspire a nutritious, plant-based diet. The entire book is sprinkled with beautiful photos that will make you want to venture to the nearest beach, get upside down and enjoy life to the fullest.

Why I Love It: I love how Yoga Girl focuses on the positive and recognizes that this is a choice. Everything can be taken away from you, absolutely everything – except your attitude. Rachel Brathen has experienced firsthand how yoga heals and transforms lives and reading her story is a breath of fresh air.

This book reminds me to choose happiness and to acknowledge when I’m hurting. I was reminded of my own grief over losing my grandmother and how yoga helped me breathe and eventually heal. Rachel’s heartfelt reflections made me feel that life is truly a process of remembering what our hearts and souls already know.

Recommended For: Anyone new to yoga will find a great introduction to yoga and its philosophy in Yoga Girl. The more experienced yogi will enjoy the depth and wisdom in Rachel’s personal testimony.

This book invites readers to go past the surface and love others, but more importantly, to love themselves. Yes, there are a lot of bikini pictures which may spark insecurities, but I encourage you to receive it’s overarching message: that you are a true co-creator of your life. If that includes bikinis, great! If not, great!

This month I invite you to slow down and check in with yourself. Are you living in a way that is in alignment with who you are and with your dreams? Let go of people pleasing. Let go of control. Pick up this book or recapture anything that inspires you to move forward with your authentic life.

Ciao, Olivia

“For me, the book was like a perfect yoga class—it left me inspired, relaxed and at the same time gave me tons of ideas.” – Katarina Tav?ar, Elephant Journal

Olivia Cecchettini
Contributing Writer

Olivia’s yoga journey began in 2003. She is certified in Vinyasa, Hatha, and Aerial Yoga and holds a Masters degree in Spiritual Psychology. She believes the mind, body, soul connection is sacred and encourages her students explore and expand within their own bodies and consciousnesses.

guest post by Christina Bird Ward

Like too many women, I’ve spent a large part of my life struggling with body image issues. It took me a long time to learn how to like (much less love) what I saw in the mirror. The good news is that loving yourself is a skill you can practice and learn over time. 

Here are a few things I do to feel amazing in my own skin, which is pretty much the definition of sexy:

1. Smile at yourself in the mirror before leaving the house in the morning. I felt ridiculous when I first started doing it, but eventually, I began to feel like I was smiling at a friend and that she was smiling back. Now, I never leave the house without sharing that smile.

2. Find something you like about your body every day. It took me months before I could find one thing that I liked: my nose. My nose was the first thing that I could look at and think, “Yeah, I like the way that looks. I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” As time passed, the list of things I found tolerable about my body grew, then the things that I liked, then the things that I loved.

3. Recite mantras or affirmations to your reflection. Here are a few of my favorites:

“I love what I see in my reflection.”

“I am beautiful.”

“I am powerful.”

“I am love/loving/lovable/loved.”

“Because I accept and love myself, others will accept and love me.”

“Smile as a cause, not as an effect.”

4. Choose what you eat wisely. This doesn’t mean I don’t splurge. Don’t get me wrong, I love pizza… and Nutella… and all sorts of other junk foods. But I try to be intentional with what and how I eat. I know that when I eat better, I feel better. And when I feel better, I look better, which makes me feel better, and so goes the cycle.

5. Wear sexy, flattering panties. Always. Got that? Always. Now this doesn’t mean that you have to wear some uncomfortable black lacy thing. Some of my most comfortable underoos are also my sexiest little numbers. Underwear is the first thing you put on. Let the first thought you have about your body be “I look damn sexy” and see how your day week life changes.

6. Exercise because it feels good. If your body isn’t healthy, it doesn’t matter what size your pants are, you won’t feel your best. Stop exercising because you want to look good (although, that is an unavoidable side effect) and start working out because you want to take care of your beautiful, imperfect body.

7. Get rid of “fat/skinny pants.” They only remind you of how you used to be compared to now. The hardest struggle is learning to love your body right now. Throw out anything that you don’t feel good wearing.

8. Learn how to walk in heels and own at least one pair. I’m a heels girl, I can’t lie. There is a feeling I get when I’m confidently strutting in my sleek, black stiletto boots that just can’t compare with any other footwear. Your heels might be a little black dress or sea kayaking or ordering whiskey at a bar. The point is to do or wear something that makes you feel confident and daring.

9. Choose a partner who says nice things about you. I’ve been in a relationship with someone who criticized my body and pointed out my “flaws,” which only reinforced the negative messages I gave myself. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Be with someone who loves you exactly the way you are but who will challenge you to grow and work towards a healthy life together.

10. Say only positive things about your body, even when joking. In fifth grade, a girl in my class made fun of my “big butt.” She wasn’t far off, I was a skinny ten-year-old with a booty that was well before my time – but I held onto that statement for years. That was the moment I started worrying about my body and began to have an altered and inaccurate view of how I looked. Discard words that bring up negative emotions like “big” and “fat” and replace them with positive words like “voluptuous” and “full.”

Remember that loving others sometimes sneaks up on you and surprises you. Loving yourself is more deliberate. Take the first step: embrace yourself. You’re worth the love you have to give.

Christina Bird Ward
Guest Writer

Christina Bird Ward is an Acupuncturist in San Diego, CA. She believes that a healthful life begins with loving yourself completely, mind and body.