by Amy Caldwell

What does mindfulness really mean?

Sylvia Boorstein says one definition she likes is “paying attention and seeing clearly, so we can choose wisely.”

I was fortunate to attend her daily dharma talks recently while teaching at Rancho La Puerta Wellness Resort & Spa in Tecate, Mexico. “Here I am,” was the phrase Sylvia first offered as a helpful moment-to-moment tool. Often, she said, “we live a short distance from our body,” which made the large and rapt audience giggle in agreement. Through mindfulness practices, we can learn to greet this moment, and the next one, fully and sympathetically. Sylvia told many stories infused with humanness, such as how many of us worry when a loved one is late and unreachable. “Look at that,” she said, “My thought machine is doing that worrying thing again.”

“What’s here?” Look for delight

Sylvia’s lessons kept circling back to asking ourselves, “What’s here?” then making deliberate choices. We were inspired to choose where we place our attention – to consciously look for the “ooh and ahh!” moments. She suggested that doing so “keeps us in life.” Our homework over the next 24 hours was to find something in which we found delight then to share with the group next time.

At the Ranch it is quite easy to see beauty: the sun setting over the activity pool while swimming, vines eeking their way around trellises, or a friendly black cat that greets me most mornings. Today an even bigger “aww!” occurred unexpectedly. At 6am I grabbed a flashlight on my way to teach a 6:30am sunrise yoga class. Stepping onto the path, the full moon glowed clear and bright. I had enjoyed it the previous night and still, I felt so amazed to see it there greeting me in the dark of morning. I intend to recommit to the practice of taking in daily small delights and invite you to do the same.

“Here I am.” Pause for five minutes

Our next task was to pause for just five minutes each day at some point. I’m not sure if this counts, because it is part of my “job” teaching at the Ranch, but I facilitated a silent dinner that same evening. It was an intimate journey into mindful eating: vibrant flavors, colors and smells, silverware and chewing noises, along with some long gaps between courses. Sitting with five unknown guests, those pauses sometimes felt awkward and tense (slightly unpleasant) or relaxed and spacious (enjoyable) – much like the pauses in our daily life. How often do we turn away from the present by checking our phones or launching into some other type of doing? What if instead, we said to ourselves, “Here I am.”

Sylvia invited us to notice the many things that come and go. For me, this really turned up the volume: sound, sensation, thought, breath in, paying attention, not paying attention, relaxed, pleasant, breath out, so much change, unpleasant. Wow! Rather than choosing to focus on one thing as we most often do, we focused on the constancy of change, which felt like chaos.

Meet the present moment as a friend

And then, just near the end of this challenging sit, a little voice in my head asked “What is not changing? Can you connect with that?” For me, this experience simulated the over-stimulation that is often present in our daily Western life. Most of us have experienced, and know intuitively, that things keep changing. Sylvia then offered another favorite mantra, “May I meet this moment fully. May I meet it as a friend.” She nudged us to keep training our minds – “It’s your life, don’t miss it!”

On the last day Sylvia re-emphasized the importance of connecting to our core of compassion. “I’m hopeful that humans will remember that it feels better to be kind.” With purposeful practice, we can habituate our hearts to kindness. And this will not only help others and the earth, it will also help ourselves. We will experience more ease in our minds and more comfort in our lives. “We are sharing this world with people who are holding us up.” Let’s each renew our intention to do our part.

For more information, connect with Sylvia on her website

Rancho La Puerta – first time guests who mention Amy Caldwell and the code RLP-PRP at booking will receive 20% off the best available offer on a 3-, 4-, or 7-night stay. Please call Reservations at (800) 443-7565 or email reservations@rancholapuerta.com